11

I've yet to meet a woman who is actually 5'11"
Usually they're 6'0" and have bad posture
Girls that tall are supposed to be models, right?

can't get dressed

nothign to wear
no one to wear it for

Awww

Young Michael Phelps

Poor Michael

I'm really sad that people are upset about Michael Phelps smoking pot.

I mean, I guess there are some young kids who look up to him, and I would never encourage a minor to smoke drugs, but kids are gonna do what kids are gonna do.

I don't think anyone other than parents and goody-two-shoe kids and old people are mad about this.

I bet he's gotten laid before. And he got arrested for DUI I think.

He's just some dumb freakjock bro who likes to party once in a rare while.

Ugh.

Somusings.

Rice is nice! It smells so good. I made a yellow curry dish today. "Rythai"
I got some Blue Diamond chocolate almond milk today. Who wants to drink it with me? Vodka/Kahlua are optional.
MacGyver is so amazing. It is the movie theater nachos of television.
I got a DTV box today and it came with a remote control that I can lose.
I got a bag of chips today and when I got home, they were already open. They weren't stale, so I don't think they'd been sitting open, but I don't know how they got opened.

Overheard in Minneapolis (St. Louis Park, technically)
Cashier: "What's that?" (Pointing to Bagger's eye)
Bagger: "Oh, I got a rash. It flares up every few months."
Cashier: "Oh, have you tried not eating gluten."
Bagger: "No, that would be really hard to not eat gluten anymore."
Cashier: "Well, it's either that or that (pointing to Bagger's eye)"
Everyone: Awkward silence.

Everyone remind me to go to a carwash on Thursday or Friday.

P.S. I did an interview for the Onion today. I hope it gets in the print version and not just online... but cool anyway!

I wanna go to bed

with you