Hey Ricky, You're So Fine

Apparently Ricky Williams, RB for the Miami Dolphins, was "tempted" to smoke weed last weekend, says the Associated Press.

This is soooooooooooooooo newsworthy.

P.S. Ricky... lemme know if/when you wanna.

Wonderful Bathroom Graffiti

"I <3 GANGSTA BITCHZ"

Help A Cat Out!

Today I saw a man standing on the corner of Hennepin and Lagoon with his face painted like a cat. He was holding up a sign that said "Help A Cat Out!"

The best part is that he wasn't saying anything... he just "meowed" at people. It was pretty creepy.

How cool am i?

Well, I drove my car half a block from my house and am sitting in it so I can steal the internet.

I had to see the video clips from the Twins game! WOOHOO

Capt. Deadbeard

Last weekend I told someone that maybe I wouldn't shave for awhile. I used to shave once every couple weeks and I was told that my scruffyness looked nice. Lately, however, I wanna shave every couple days.

Today I woke up with the thought that perhaps the Beard is dead. It's had a good run of about 4-5 years of immense popularity, but now I think it's back to clean shaven faces with gentle mustaches.

Songwriting 101, Chapter 1: How It Should Work

1. Get Laid

2. Write a song about the experience.

3. Play/Record the song.

4. Get laid a bunch if the song is good.

5. Write more songs and get laid more.

And if you start out with a cover song, you can skip step 1.

Great Idea Again

Touchscreen temperature and pressure controls for showers and sinks!!!

Craigslist Encounters #1

The Zodiac

Is all up in my biznasss.

Poem for a full moon in September.

I'll make love to you

if you don't use dandruff shampoo

"Everybody Loves Me, Baby. What's the matter with you?"

From Wikipedia:

Rice Krispies (known as Rice Bubbles in Australia) is a brand of breakfast cereal that was created in 1927 by Kellogg's and released to the market in 1928. They are made of crisped rice, that is, rice grains which are cooked, dried and toasted. These kernels bubble and rise in a manner which forms very thin walls. When the cereal is exposed to milk or juices, these walls tend to collapse suddenly, creating the famous "Snap, crackle and pop" sounds.
In 1963, The Rolling Stones recorded a short song for a Rice Krispies television advertisement.

An excerpt from an interview with Brian Wilson

From PitchforkMedia.com:

Pitchfork: I was also curious, did you follow along this year with the reissue of Dennis Wilson's album--

BW: No, I haven't heard it yet.
Pitchfork: Yeah, Pacific Ocean Blue was reissued this year to critical acclaim. A lot of people were going back to it after a long time. I didn't know if you had been following...
BW: Yeah. That was the early-- I never heard that album, you know?
Pitchfork: That wasn't something that, back then, you would have--
BW: No. I didn't even know he made an album.

WHAT?? You didn't know your brother made an album like 30 years ago and you've never heard it???!!!! Hahahahahaha.

Randy Crouton Greeting Card Series (#2)

Thing I've been up to lately

List:

Washing, drying, but not folding my laundry

Making a mess of my room every time I get dressed

Driving in Rome too much

Having a sore throat

Not really writing songs

Cleaning out the fridge

Not caring about the Twins (until about 2am this morning)

Not going to St. Paul for any reason

Menace to Sobriety

When I went to Rome, I invented going to breakfast twice.

For example:

"Hey this was a really good breakfast. Do you wanna go get breakfast again?"

"Yes, of course! I love 2nd breakfast."

[Exit stage left]

It's pretty awesome. Just be sure not to eat too much at 1st breakfast.

Bloody Marys are a necessity.

Today feels like a Saturday, except I have to work tomorrow.

If you don't have anything nice to say

Don't say anything at all.

AmIright?

Music I Found Tonight

Nightshadow: The Square Root of Two (Awesome 13th Floor Elevators-ish psych!)

Persona: Son (Weirdo Brazilian stuff)

Kristen Nogues: Marc'h Gouez (French acid folk)

Elizabeth Cotten: Shake Sugaree (lots of okay fingerpicking and lots of pretty singing)

Book of Am is up next.

Wouldn't It Be Nice?

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up in the morning when the day is new, and after having spent the day together hold each other close the whole night through?

People Get Ready!