Thursday, September 9, 2010

Thinking About Reading About Thinking

"I don't get so wrapped up in compulsive thinking. When I feel stressed, insecure, and insufficient according to whatever standards I have bought into throughout my life, I can take a deep breath, and return my focus to the present in the way [my psychiatrist] has taught me: to notice the feeling of the laptop keyboard keys under my fingers, the sensation of my feet on the ground and my butt in my chair, the cool breeze blowing on my neck from a nearby fan, the soft way my shirt drapes over my shoulders.

I can move out of the mental and into the physical, which always exists now, in the present.

I find myself being more spontaneous. More likely to engage strangers in conversation, to dance at a party, to crack a joke at any moment. Even my athletics have improved. I'm simply more relaxed, less anxious, more confident, and ultimately, better at the sport. Romantically, I'm less wrapped up in anxieties and more able to feel, and enjoy, myself and others."

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