Prettiest song ever?

I am honored to have this on my blog.

A Summer Assumption (Mixtape)

Roll Down Your Windows:

Fleetwood Mac
Gene Clark
The Astronauts
Van Dyke Parks
Jorge Ben Jor
Price & Walsh
Fox
Billy Nicholls
Margo Guryan
Little Joy
Bonnie "Prince" Billy
Francoise Hardy
Caetano Veloso
Caribou
Animal Collective
Beach Boys
Novos Baianos

Simon Says

remember this

make a track of lil wayne laughing

B.P. (Bad Poetry)

I was born with a bird's nest in my chest
there were three eggs in it
two grew to be lungs
the other a heart
the lungs are land birds, like ostriches
the heart finally developed wings after 25 years of malnourishment
it is trying to fly
it wants to leave
perhaps this is why brewster mccloud is so dear to my heart
he is my heart.
fluttering, beating, beak-banging, rib-cracking,
pounding, breaking, scratching
heart, you cannot leave
you're my bird
i will feed you seeds and lard
and give you water
chirp when the girls walk by
bathe in my blood

all the single ladies

have boyfriends
how'm i supposed to put a ring on it if i like it?
okay i'm gonna go puke now

Nacho Diaries 2

driNk Nachos
Yes, I went to driNk for the first time last night. It was poker night and the bar was 3/4 full of d-bags. In addition to poker night, they also had 1/2 off appetizers and big 24 oz. mugs of yellow beer for $3. Normally the nachos would have been about $10, and it was a surprisingly small helping. Chips, cheese, lettuce, olives, sour cream, guacamole, side of salsa... I feel like maybe there were some jalapenos too, but I don't remember seeing any. The amount of cheese was just about perfect, but there was absolutely nothing memorable about these nachos. That being said, they were definitely less soggy than the Independent's nachos.
Grade: C

Zodiac/Crime

I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on how astrological signs relate to crime. It would be interesting.

Fan appreciation

Just A Pawn In The Game

This is a tale of coincidence, improbability, and the magnetic guidance of fate.

A few months ago, my friend suggested that I date one of her coworkers from a local restaurant. Naturally, I looked at the girl's Facebook page and browsed through her pictures. She seemed quite attractive, rides a bike, has a dog, plus plus plusses... we'll call her "Cindy". Anyway, with no way to meet her other than just walking into the restaurant and talking to her, I forgot about the situation. Last night I was Facebook-chatting with another friend who works at the same restaurant and looking at some of her pictures. I saw a picture of Cindy, and asked my friend about her. We joked about some ways that she could set me up with Cindy, such as my friend chaperoning a date or perhaps Cindy chaperoning a date between my friend and I. It was mostly nonsense, but a little bit later, I was still thinking about Cindy and imagining her being at Bryant-Lake Bowl, where I was heading for a nightcap with a friend.

Maybe 30 minutes pass, and I arrive at the bar with my friend. I don't go to this place too frequently because I always see too many people I know. Usually, there are three different parties of people that I know. First, I see a trashy hair school girl who frequents my work and lives above it. The second, a totally evil bitch that everyone I know secretly hates. The third is my friend Saba is sitting with a friend at a table near the door. I grab a table near the back with my friend. I got a beer and she had a Bloody Mary. Ten minutes go by and I turn around to see Cindy walk in the door. I burst into laughter and explain to my friend what had just happened. This is an example of something I call "summoning", where I feel like I can will people to be certain places. It used to happen with the friend I was with, so she is aware of my powers. We laughed about it for awhile, until I realized that trashy hair school girl and the evil bitch that everyone secretly hates are also named Cindy. Then I got a little freaked out. The real name isn't very common either.

Ughhh. Sorry.

Now You're on Drugs Too

Awesome Christian Metal/Etc. I Listened To In High School

A Dream About Crime And Midgets

It was late in the afternoon and I was just getting home. My home wasn't my home, but actually a friend's house in Montana. Walking by the garage, I looked in and saw what appeared to be an old man, passed out just inside the door. I ran inside to ask my mom why there was an old man passed out in the garage. She didn't know, and when I returned to the garage, the old man was picking himself off the ground and seemed at least 20 years younger that I'd previously thought. Also, I thought I could hear him talking to someone and noticed some other movement in the garage. As he finally stood up, I realized that he was a midget and that there was at least one other midget with him inside the garage. Our eyes met, and I could tell her was not at good person. ***I would normally call them little people, since that is what they prefer to be called, but these little people looked particularly evil, so I'm not going be that nice to them.*** I ran back inside and called the police, because it was obvious that the midgets were thieves, and I didn't know if they had guns or anything. I didn't know the address of the house because we never got mail there. It was very stressful trying to figure out the address to give to the cops and involved a lot of me yelling at my mom and the couple other people who were around. Finally we figured out the address, locked the doors and ran out the back of the house, intending to distance ourselves from the scene. As we were leaving, I noticed three large black dogs tied up on the side of the house and knew that the dogs were the midget-robbers vehicles. I was going to set up a road block, but realized that not only would the dogs be able to run around most roadblocks, but that it prevent the cops from getting to the house. Good thinking. We headed into town, and I found a suit of armor along the way. I didn't know what to do with it, but I picked it up anyway. Little did I know how useful it would come to be.

(To Be Continued)

Continuation:

Once we got to town, we checked into a hotel and then told some people what happened, but none of the townsfolk knew us or seemed to care. We ended up at a bar, and later that night several boys aged 12 or 13 walked in. They were showing off their "bling" and talking about all the money they had. Suddenly, I realized that these boys had robbed my house. It wasn't midgets, it was these boys. I confronted them and took them to the police station. I knew that the police weren't going to be of much help, but I figured it was the right thing to do.

Later that night there was disturbance in the hallway of the hotel. I saw a blonde woman, dressed in the armor I had found, wielding a sword. The woman and my companions were all somewhat transparent and glowing like golden ghosts. I soon saw what was causing the disturbance. Just as the old man had turned into a midget, the three young boys had turned into miniature versions of themselves and were riding smaller chihuahua-like dogs down the hall. The woman in armor was swinging at them with a sword. And then I woke up.

Nacho Diaries

CC Club Nachos
I've had these several times. They are the best bang for your buck. The half-size is more than enough for one person, and the full order will fill two people. I usually order them with the jalapenos on the side because they tend to be a few too many. So far, this seems to be the best chip-to-cheese ratio due to the fact that the pan the nachos are served on being quite large. More surface area equals both less soggy and less untopped chips. The guacamole tastes like what I'd imagine baby food to taste like, but the salsa is fine. The fact that you'll never need to use a fork to eat broken or soggy chips is most important part of CC club nachos.
Grade: B

The Independent Nachos
I had these a few months ago and really liked them, but my most recent visit left me quite a bit disappointed. Now, I blame myself for going during a busy time of the night, but 23 minutes is a little long for a nacho appetizer. Whereas the chips at the CC club are large and thick, the chips at the Independent are far too thin to support the many toppings on top of them. I don't know who thinks it's a good idea to completely cover the entire pile of chips in toppings. This is going to make for soggy chips that are hard to get at and the need for a fork. I liked the inclusion of grilled green, yellow, and red peppers on these nachos. I just had a burp that tasted like peppers. These nachos are ruined by the over-abundance of cheese and the huge pile guacamole, sour cream, and salsa in the middle of the pile which turns the thin, greasy chips into taco mush.
Grade: C-

The Uptown Bar Nachos
Eating these bad boys about 45 minutes after I had the Independent's nachos had a two-fold effect: Comparing and contrasting the two nachos is very easy, but influenced by the fact that I was already quite full by the time I started eating the Uptown Bar's attempt. The chips were much better... still fairly small and broken, but thick enough to not get soggy. The cheese tasted really good, but the could have used about half as much. I felt like the cheese, fused together with the other toppings, was a protective case around the chips. I could have dropped it on the ground and none of the chips would have broken. Ughhh. The black beans were awesome as a substitute for ground beef. Onions were yummy. There were lots of black olives too. I'm not a big fan of fresh tomatoes melted together with cheese. The salsa was watery, but the guacamole was good.
Bottom line: too much cheese, as usual.
Grade: C

Broken Tapes, Broken Tape Players

Lionel Richie sounds awesome on a krinkly tape.

I need to experiment with this fuh-realz.

Tom Robbins is coming to the library on April 28th.